My candidate, Barack Obama, took some silly heat from John McCain today, because he said the following:

"You can put lipstick on a pig," Obama said during a campaign stop. "It's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years."

McCain's campaign accused Obama of "smearing" Governor Palin, in "offensive and disgraceful" comments and demanded an apology — though McCain himself used the folksy metaphor a few times last year,including once to describe Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care plan.

As you know, I love to write, and I am not 100% sure that the phrase was something provided to Senator Obama, or if it was something that he came up with on the spur of the moment. However, in an effort, to help the Obama campaign, the following are phrases to avoid in the future as to not offend the hypersensitive McCain/Palin ticket:

1. "We need to stop pork in Washington"
2. "Dumber than whale blubber"
3. "You can't put a ribbon on a turd."
4. "An empty pants-suit"
5. "You can't put a pair of glasses on a pig and call it Professor"
6. "Sillier than building an igloo on the equator"

I have known pigs, pigs have been friends of mine, and Sarah Palin is no pig with lipstick. Saying so would only insult a well respected member of the barnyard community, and I don't believe that was Senator Obama's intention.

Compare the McCain/Palin reaction to perceived name calling to the Obama reaction, and really think about who is addressing the substantive issues here.

Finally, what's good for the goose is indeed good for the the porker.