Tonight, I am interviewing nationally known comedian, Paul Mecurio for the Jersey Toddshow. Anyone have any questions they want me to ask?

email me at jerseytoddshow@gmail.com

 

Wowee Wow Wow....Have we got some music for you tonight. Including:

1. Jesse Malin with Bruce Springsteen (WOW!!!)
2. David Hein
3. Ginnicide
4. Holding Back Entirely
5. Laura Hughes
6. Black Lab

Download the Show Here

       Here's a statement that I bet you never saw coming: "I have a soft spot for prisons." Really, its true. No don't get the wrong idea. The worst thing that I ever did was ripping the tags off of my mattress and driving five miles over the speed limit occasionally. Actually, I'm lying but the statute of limitations hasn't run on that and I'd rather keep this story on the down low, if you get my drift.

         However, for two years, I was a Deputy Attorney General for the State of New Jersey representing the Department of Corrections. I think its fair to say that it wasn't a position that I had chosen, and an assignment that I was very happy to see come to an end. But during that two year period, I was a good little soldier, and kept my head down, my Halliburton pen set at my side, and learned what it was like to be a prison lawyer. Oh not that kind, the kind that got to go home at the end of the day.

        But, the whole concept of prison management, of prison life, of the butt side of the criminal justice system was, for the most part, a fascinating experience to learn about. That's why, when I hear about Sherriff Joe Arpaio from Maricopa County the hairs on the back of my head stand up like Britney Spears with a five-o'clock shadow on her dome.

       Let me start with what I think prisons should be. Because the last thing that I want you to think is that I'm another screaming liberal with a bone to pick about every stinking issue. That's further from the truth. But like everything else, I can't stand being locked into one group or another. I'd like to think of myself as neither conservative or liberal. I'd like to think of myself as open minded. I'd like to think of myself as the starting right fielder for the New York Mets, but I don't think that's happening either.

        Prisons are certainly about punishment. They are a model for deterrence, and at the same time for people to serve their penance, which is the root word for penitentiary. We forget that, prisons were originally a place for people to pay for their crimes, and having done so for the appropriate amount of time, the scales would be even. That being said, prisons are not a place where human rights are to be disrespected and not the local Costco to warehouse those with mental illnesses or a place where the hopeless and lawless. I'd like to think that in this country we can do better than just a warehouse.

      My first experience with a prison was a juvenile detention center in Lima, Pa, outside of Philadelphia. I actually kind of dug the place, because, frankly they gave me a free lunch everytime I went and saw a client. As long as there was no glass in the salad dressing, and I politely said no to anything made with mayonnaise, it was a pretty good deal for me. I had just finished representing a kid for sexual assault, and it was like a week after the trial, and I had just proved that he had nothing to do with the situation, and he was released. The kid was in jail for a long time pending the trial. Well, less than a week later, he was back in jail on an accusation that he had dealt some drugs. When I went and saw him the next week, I asked him what was going on, he said, hey all my friends are here. The next week he called me worked up because someone had stolen his shoes. I said, hey man, there's all criminals in there.

       The point is, I know jail is not supposed to be a friendly place. However, some of the stuff that Sherriff Arapio does in Arizona absolutely spins my head. He serves the inmates surplus food like green bologna and limits meals to twice a day. Ok, I get it, its not a luxury hotel. We don't want you to enjoy it. A tent city in hot Arizona heat. Uhmmm, I'm not loving that either, but ok, I guess. He has gotten rid of cigarettes and coffee. Mean. Cruel to get rid of the coffee, but I'm seeing that too. Making inmates wear pink underwear: just a tad perverted. Chain-gangs for women and juveniles, uhm wait a second. Mandatory English classes: woah woah woah. Lets put it this way for all the good that he says he does Amnesty International has given a big thumbs down to Sheriff Arapio's prison.

       In representing the New Jersey prisons, I learned something interesting, that the Supreme Court has pretty much given prison superintendents pretty far leeway in the running of their prisons. Basically, you can get away with a lot of things as long as you can show that it benefits the security of the prison, and Sheriff Arapio has pushed this further than Rosie ODonnell's belt buckle, and his answers are amazing. The tent city, well that's because of over crowding. The pink underwear, well that is because pink has a calming effect and hey nobody is going to steal them from the jail.

       Alot of what Sherriff Joe tells the public and the Court seems like it has a legal and permissible end, and I doubt that the Courts ever would knock it down as the presumption is that what he's doing is fine. But lets be honest, a lot of it is a lot of bullying. The pink underwear thing isn't exactly subtle, either. Lets be honest, it is an attack on the machismo on these inmates, and no-so-subtle attack on homosexuality. The speaking English thing, in the jail, is a not-so-subtle, near racist and xenophobic exercise. The chain gangs for women and juvenile offenders, no matter what excuse he comes up with Ã�¢ that's just plain wrong. And for all the good that that he says that he does, Sherriff Arapaio has cost the people of Maricopa County, 13.7 million in settlements.

     The latest from Sheriff Arapio is a scream. He's holding a contest in his jail, where hes having "Prison Idle" based off American Idol. Now he claims that it benefits the morale of the prison to have a con-test to have these inmates sing sing for their supper. Ok those puns were probably a 3rd degree misdemeanor offense in Arizona, but the point is this really bothers me, and certainly I'm not going to make the mistake of continuing the analogy between inmates and actors, because I'm sure your not going to want to hear that: long term contracts, a lot of time near bars, silver bracelets, drinking bad hootch made from toilet water, dried prunes and urine left underneath a bunk for a month oh wait that's just Bobby Brown. He's even gotten Alice Cooper to be one of the Judges. While Alice Cooper was scary in the seventies, somehow, I can't imagine that I guy that once sang no more mister nice guy, is going to be anything less than a nice guy when he tells bubba that his version of ain't no mountain high enough didn't suck. While the Sherrif claims that this contest is voluntary, clearly its not. When you have an option of eating green bologna and working in the Arizona heat, or going inside to sing and hope to get a chance at a hamburger, this is as coerced as a confession in Ulster in the eighties. Oooh, my little controversial meter just went off, but I think you get my point.

      This is grandstanding. This is demagoguery. This is just another publicity stunt meant to get us to keep Arapio's name in the media. Maybe I'm doing a disservice from mentioning this at all, but at the end of the day, if he really wanted to do real law enforcement, if he wanted to make sure that these people never came back to jail, then he should force them to watch back to back episodes of American Idol, Clockwork Orange style. Or, in the extreme cases, he could make the inmates see naked pictures of Randy, Simon and Paula. Yuck. Talk about the potential to scare someone straight.

How's that for a title for a show? We do have some great music, too. Including:

1. The Academy Is...
2. Will Makar
3. Black Tie Revue
4. Ray Schinnery
5. Causeway
6. The Undercover Hippy

Download the show Here

Checkout Anji Bee's Unwind and get some Tylenol PM

AND DON'T FORGET TO BUM RUSH THE CHARTS

As a red blooded American male, there is one thing that I know about -breasts. Knockers, Hooters, Bazooms, Melons, I have been trained from an early age about the social life of the biggest and best this country has to offer. Everywhere I look things remind me of boobs - a pair of watermelons in the store, simple things like endangered animals, like the "titmouse" or even my favorite chewing gum, "Boobalicious" It seems in this culture, we are surrounded by more knockers than the doorbell section at Home Depot.

But as I said, this is the fun side of fun bags. There is a professional side of puppies, as well, and this is the side that we don't really talk about that often - the business end, and we don't really talk about them until we have a baby, and far be it for me to take a very personal point of my life, and my wife's life and expose it for personal use. Ouch Ouch ok, don't twist my arm, just this once.

As you know, we just had a baby. As I previously told you, she is healthy, happy, and well - very, very hungry. If you don't have any kids, or even if you do, you may have blocked this part of your memory out. But every 180-minutes, the newest diva of the casa de Toddshow needs to be fed. That's right, watch the Godfather, and add nine-minutes, and you're looking at yet another buffet at boob-town. But rather than expose you to any more of the gory details, what I did want to talk to you about today is the absolute zeal of the pro-breast feeding lobby, and ask you the rhetorical question, has their cups runeth over?

Twice before my daughter was born, and once after we were visited by what I've come to learn were "lactation consultants." Now I don't really know their qualifications other than the fact that they had white coats. I doubt that they were doctors, and simply had a certificate in lactology from our local community college where they took night classes. But, hey, they had a white coat, so as such we were obligated to listen, and some of the stuff they said blew me away. Most of what they told us had to do with how incredibly beneficial it was to the baby if she exclusively breast fed. No supplementation, no stored breast milk, no the best and right way to do it was fresh from the tap, good old fashioned boob juice.

Now I am not going to deny anyone that breast feeding is a natural, beautiful, helpful, economic, way for mothers to feed their newborns. I support a woman's right to choose whether to breast feed in public, so long as they are discreet and aren't doing it on line at Haagen Daas. What I do have a problem with is their claims that breast feeding is the universal cure all that its all cracked up to be. In fact, in 2006, the New York Times published an article entitled, "Breast Feed or Else." However, it really appears to be a lot of what they are saying is a great big diaper full of poopy.

The scare tactics are phenomenal. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, breastfeeding leads to a 21 percent decrease in the death rate of babies in an age range over one month and under one-year old. But turn to the AAP's source. According to a George Mason University study from 2006, the scientific study used to support this claim found that babies who are nursed are less likely to die of injuries! Jeez, oh man, I haven't seen fraudulent representation of numbers since I watched FOX news. It is absolutely impossible to explain away this kind of sloppy science by what is intended to be a credible organization, and I agree with the authors of the study that I simply can not believe that the AAP is recommending that exhausted, tired, guilt-ridden, and otherwise strung out mothers nurse because otherwise, their child might end up falling off a table. Come on, be serious.

Here is another one, that breast fed babies are smarter. In fact, in 1996, a study came out from a medical school in New Zealand that followed breast fed babies for 18 years and found that the longer they breast fed, the better they did on tests. Oh give me a break, who are you kidding. The truth of the matter is that parents that breast feed are more likely than not very very committed to their kids education, and whether the kid does better in school than a non-breast fed kid has as much to do with what's going on in the kid's home life than what went on inside of mom's sweater. Moreover, once again, we have a mom-centric study that completely undervalues any contribution from the child's father, who, at the very least needs to be given my credit than just his initial deposit to get the ball rolling.

This has been one of my biggest gripes in the whole pregnancy process. The absolute ignoring of fathers. I literally was stepped on and kicked in the hospital when I slept on the floor by my wife's bed. The hospital didn't offer to bring me food, even though I was in the room just as long as the patient, and when it came to discussions of breast feeding, I was the last person who's opinion counted. I understand that there is a significant benefit of having a child and a mother breast feeding, but what is clearly underreported, and under researched is the benefit of bottle feeding by fathers on their children.

Lets talk about the negatives of breast feeding, shall we? What's nice, is as a testosterone filled man, I've already got the respect of the breast is best lobby as Howard Stern at a meeting of Christian conservatives, but at least let me make my points. First, lets be clear breast feeding is not always healthy for the child. It can transmit diseases like HIV, and herpes. Also, it can transmit the affects of medication, like Paxil. So great, youll end up with a child with less ear infections, but addicted to anti-depressants. Second, for all of the supposed health benefits of breast feeding, the studies don't take into any consideration any environmental factors. How many breast fed babies now live in houses underneath power lines? How many breast fed babies have parents that feed them cheeseburgers? How many breast fed babies have parents that vote Republican? Ok, that was cheap, but the fact of the matter is that the health and well being of a child comes just as much from parenting as it does from any chemical, natural or formula that you put into your kid. Third, some women like Brooke Shields, or, ahem, Britney Spears suffer from post-partum depression. I'm with ya Britney. I'm sure the alcoholism is just a side-effect, whatever, baby. Call me. But my point is, you have an extremely stressful situation, the birth of a newborn, which is an extremely emotionally and physically draining situation, and these lactation experts are going to add the extra burden onto a mother of what's mommy brewing or not percolating for lunch. Forgetaboutit. In fact, it would be easy peezie, lemon squeezy for me to make the argument that breast feeding in some cases can exacerbate post partum depression. Of course, I'm not a doctor, but I just kick the crap out of them on cross-examination.

But my final point is this, where does this all come from? We are in a society now that pushes parents from day one of their child's life. Every waking and sleeping moment, needs to be based on getting your kid into Haahvard, or becoming a doctor or a lawyer, and you get that nasty look on people's faces when you tell them that, "No, I'm not going to do flash cards for my two-year old or send them to Montessori school." Lets be clear, there has not once ever been a bad parent that was a bad parent simply because she chose to give her child formula. No child has succeeded or has been healthy simply and soley because they were breast fed, and no parent should feel otherwise. However, not forcing your kid to listen to each and every episode of the Jersey Toddshow, that is bad parenting, but you already knew that.

One of my favorite artists, Ben Kweller has a great new song and video out. I thought you might like it on a snowy day here in NJ.

 The Baby is here, the Baby is here! Robyn was born on March 8, 2007. She is healthy, happy, and hungry and in need of some podsafe music. Featuring:

1. Amer Diab
2. Fidget
3. The Milwalkees
4. Black Lab
5. Jonathan Coulton
6. Dark Romantics

With special thanks to Jersey Joe, the kids from Bucket, Jim from Jersey Beat, and Jason from Radio BSOTS, and Endless Shouting Matches With Myself.

DOWNLOAD THE SHOW HERE

Special thanks to Jason for the rant:

It was on the cover of the March 5, 2007 issue of New York magazine that a close-up of Rudolph Giuliani's smiling face appeared. Superimposed was a one-word question: HIM? The caption read, "What America Sees In Rudy: The Weirdness of the Giuliani juggernaut." Few things infuriate me more at the moment than the idea of Rudy running as a presidential candidate. I live in Mount Vernon, New York, about a half hour train ride north from New York City. While the rest of America stands in awe of a man who put on a brave face during Gotham's darkest hour, I still live with the memories of the pre-9/11 Giuliani. And not one of them is pleasant.

It sounds like a horrible thing to say, but 9/11 was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was visible when the commander-in-chief wasn't, and that alone elevated Giuliani to a status of not only New York's Mayor, but America's mayor. It is arguably the only reason why he is being looked at as a serious contender for the White House's main seat. But I remember the Rudy from September 10th, and he had a Napoleon complex like you wouldn't believe. So I suppose his current quest for the ultimate high chair shouldn't surprise me.Travel back in time with me to his handling of two incidents of police brutality that the home of the brave has largely written off. As for me, they're forever burned into my memory. February 1999: Amadou Diallo, an African immigrant, was gunned down in a hallway by four cops, shot at 41 times when they mistook his wallet for a gun. The cops were acquitted the following year. Wanna know how much some people can't stand the truth? Even the beloved "Boss" Bruce Springsteen caught it bad from New York city cops and Giuliani for daring to perform his song "American Skin" at Madison Square Garden, a song which references the Diallo incident, repeating the phrase "41 shots."

In the wake of the shooting, Giuliani ordered black talon bullets for the NYPD as a preventive measure. The bullet was known to be more lethal, to explode upon contact, and able to take down someone faster. Since a person would fall faster upon being hit by these bullets, there would be less reason to keep shooting. This was Rudy's rationale. Let's read into that a little further: it wasn't necessarily the fault of the cops for shooting at an unarmed man 41 times. If only Diallo had fallen faster,  ¦now there's an interesting spin on things. Are you starting to see why I can't allow this man to be President? This was not the first time that Giuliani would come out in strong vocal defense of his police squad. Anybody remember the name Patrick Dorismond? (You get bonus points if you do.) He was a security guard that was shot to death by plainclothes police in March of 2000, only one month after the acquittal of the four cops from the Diallo trial. Undercover cops were performing a drug crackdown and one of them approached Dorismond outside of a bar, asking to buy drugs, which he was not in possession of. Cops say he became belligerent after that, but I would too if someone assumed that I had drugs in my possession due to my race or my age. They say a detective's gun went off after Dorismond lunged for it. Eyewitnesses on the scene say differently. The end result was the same: a 26-year old unarmed brother dead at the hands of police. And he wanted to be a cop someday. Before Dorismond's body was cold, Giuliani ordered the unsealing of his juvenile records, using these to make the claim that he was "not an altar boy." This was a charge that a judge had long since dropped, occurring when Dorismond was 13 years old. Despite the fact that the detective who shot Dorismond had a blemished record, Giuliani never made mention of it, instead heaping praise upon the officer for doing his part in keeping the community safe. Beyond that, he also pointed out that Dorismond was in a domestic dispute with his girlfriend a week before the incident, building a case of what Giuliani considered to be a history of violent behavior.

With the Sean Bell shooting trial coming to a close, in which cops shot at an unarmed black man 50 times last November, killing him the night before his wedding day, the cases of Diallo and Dorismond were already weighing heavy on my mind. Talks of Rudy as national martyr and presidential hopeful aren't helping matters much. A brief side note: if you ever want to know what black life is truly worth in America, it's easy to figure out - just count the shell cases.

But back to our thug in hero's clothing. Remember me saying something earlier about his Napoleon complex? Whenever I see press photos of Rudy and Judi loving it up in front of the camera, I can't help but think of Donna Hanover, an accomplished reporter and anchorwoman, as well as Rudy's better half before Judi came on the scene. Every American that points to Giuliani as an example of a real hero may want to ask themselves something: do real heroes inform their wives that they are divorcing them via press conference? To this day, I still can't get over that. I was talking about this with my wife the other day, asking her how does someone do that? How does a man tell the mother of his children that they're getting a divorce not to her face, but by way of a press conference? Wifey didn't mince words: "He was married to a powerful woman, and that scared him to death." A valid point. Now might be a good time to recall the image of the high chair. If this is how he handled business at home (business which should have stayed behind closed doors to begin with), who's to say he won't handle domestic policy the same way in the White House? Never mind foreign policy, because the same people who gaze at him transfixed as he talks about September 11th will eventually have to acknowledge the fact that Giuliani HAS no foreign policy experience. Just memories, vivid images, pathos, speculation, and prepared chunks of patriotism to pluck at the heartstrings of middle America, ready to be spun any way he sees fit.

9/11 ultimately made him who he is now, but I would hope that between now and next November, the Giuliani from September 10th will become known to those planning to cast their votes. But seeing as how I don't trust people's better judgment, and being the occasional pessimist and part-time conspiracy theorist that I am, allow me to propose a hypothetical scenario. Should another stateside terrorist attack occur shortly before the 2008 elections, all eyes could be on one man when the smoke clears. Go ahead - guess who. Wisdom tends to go out the window when feelings are running high, and people voting with their hearts and not their heads is not unheard of. Should that happen, we are all in serious, serious trouble. Because if you think that Bush the sequel has the whole arrogant figurehead thing on lock, think again. Believe me, I know. I remember. And I'm not letting that happen to the nation at large.

The Jersey Toddlette was born on March 8, 2007. She was a happy 8.1 pounds, and was 19.1 inches. She is currently in negotiations for her own podcast.

uhm On March 8, 2007, we're having a baby. It's crazy...I know. On the show tonight, we're gonna keep the anticipation coming, with some great tunes, from bands including:

1. Suckerpunch
2. The Alternate Routes
3. Caren Kennedy
4. The Eisenhowers
5. Jonathan Coulton
6. Omer Leshem

Opening music by Beebleblox

Go over to Godaddy.com

Download the show here

        This week on the Jersey Toddshow, we're gonna try something different. I've got three different things that I want to talk to you about, and I know you can't see this....hell its podcasting....but what I've done is taken this old wheel and put three different topics on it; let me give you my three thesis statements:

1. Anne Coulter called John Edwards a really offensive name regarding his sexuality. Does this mean I can call Mitt Romney a catcher
2. The Secret of Stealing your Money.
3. Alyssa Milano sues people to take down pictures of her naked. A rant designed to increase google searches.

             Lets give this thing a spin....well, it looks like we're talking tonight about the Secret.

             If one were to run over to Amazon.com, they'd see that the Number 2 title being sold, right behind the new Harry Potter book, which I think is called Harry Potter and the Revealing of the Sphincter is a book called "The Secret" by  Rhonda Byrne from Australia, and I think Number 2 is a really appropriate place for a book like this, because it's a big pile of steaming Cheney.

             This book has been made into a DVD, its been endorsed by Oprah, its sold 1.75 million copies and the basic theory is the "Law of Attraction" which has absolutely zero credibility, and basically, you can get whatever you want: Money, relationships, success, just by visualizing it and letting the "power of positive thinking" just take off.

 Let me read you the blurb about it:

"Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it. In this book, you'll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life -- money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You'll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that's within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life.

The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers -- men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible."

            Let me say this, "The Secret" is the same old, snake-oil, humbugged, ape-repellant, false-promise, false-idol, delusional, deceitful crap that we see time and time again from the new-age community, but this one is as new as dinosaur crap. This one really takes the cake. I mean check this quote out from around halfway though the book

"The most common thought that people hold, and I held it too, is that food was responsible for my weight gain. That is a belief that does not serve you, and in my mind now it is complete balderdash! Food is not responsible for putting on weight. It is your *thought* that food is responsible for putting on weight that actually has food put on weight....IF YOU SEE PEOPLE WHO ARE OVERWEIGHT, DO NOT OBSERVE THEM, BUT IMMEDIATELY SWITCH YOUR MIND TO THE PICTURE OF YOU IN YOUR PERFECT BODY AND FEEL IT" (caps mine for emphasis).

            That's right, you supposed to visualize your self fighting into those old jeans again, and just wait for the pounds to come shedding off. However, Ms. Byrne ups the ante by telling you that when you see a fat person that you should immediately hide your eyes! Hide your eyes! You certainly wouldn't want anybody to take you off your mental image of where you want to be.  

            Let me give you another excerpt, "This is really fun. It's like having the Universe as your catalogue. You flip through it and say, `I'd like to have this experience and I'd like to have that product and I'd like to have a person like that.' It is You placing your order with the Universe. It's really that easy." - Dr. Joe Vitale

            Now, I don't know Dr. Joe Vitale, I would have to think that he's got the same doctorate of bracketology that Dick Vitale has, because, no...You can not simply visualize things and have them appear on your doorstep like the nightly delivery from Fed Ex.

            Maybe it's the state of the country, maybe it's the state of the world, maybe people have just flat out lost hope. They've lost hope in their ability to succeed, they're ability to find happiness, and the ability to see good things in the future, but a book like "The Secret" doesn't help anyone. In fact, it probably hurts more than it helps, because rather than telling people to get off their ass, and work harder towards the things they want, it says the opposite. You don't need an education. You don't need any skills, and you don't need anything to get what you want. You can just sit on the couch and rub your personal genie and wait for the vibrations, or the crystals, or magic potions to work their way through the cosmic ether for things to happen. Jeez oh man, you'd have better luck using the Force. Help me Obi Wan, you're my only hope.

            Speaking of the state of the Country, maybe President Bush got an advance copy of the Secret. Maybe if he visualized nuclear bombs in Iraq, there would actually be nuclear bombs in Iraq. Maybe if he visualized an accomplished mission, there actually would be a mission accomplished. Ah, strike that, Bush didn't read this book, there isn't anything in it about his pet goat.

            I mean where are we going with this? When bad things happen to people, is it because they are practicing the Power of Negative Thinking? Deep down, a homeless person really really wanted to be a homeless person, and deep down, a severely injured person really really wanted to be injured. Of course not.

            This book is the worst kind of terror known. It preys on people's weaknesses. It tells people that the only key to true happiness is a lot of money, a killer bod, and maybe a shaved head and some tattoos. Call me Britney, we need to talk. I mean, jeez, I've seen brainwashing cults that provide more motivation. This whole "ask, believe, receive" philosophy is "hope porn". It takes over the hearts and minds of individuals who are just unwilling to take any personal responsibility for their own actions, and would rather just be told what to do, without any independent thought, which explains why this book is doing so well with morons. The phrase, "if its too good to be true, then it probably is comes to mind", and while you certainly have nothing to lose by trying the ideas in this book, actually you would lose $15.00 plus shipping and handling, and maybe this is "The Secret" that JT's gonna share with you, no matter what you want in life, relationship, money, success, you're gonna have to bust your ass for it, and trust me, Rhonda Byrne didn't just visualize her book she sat at her desk and pooped it out.

            Passing on this piece of crap, certainly that's no secret, and with that $15.00 dollars you could go sign on a website to see Alyssa Milano's boobs, could actually buy the book and visualize dropping a piano on Anne Coulter, or you could go over to Go Daddy and purchase two domain names with the Code Jersey1. Tes I am visualizing you buying a domain name....oooooh.....spooky, right? The power of the mind!