I have never put up a post like this before, but I was forwarded a copy of the Stone Coyotes new "Dreams of Glory" and am absolutely floored. I have been listening to this album all day, non-stop since I woke up. I know its excessive, but it is really fantastic. I am waiting for my wife to swipe it for herself, and doubt that I'll ever see it again.

I will be trying to convince them to upload some more tracks to the PMN. They have one track so far, "Party Down the Hall" which is just fantastic, and I must have missed it on the first go-around.

This is one of the best album's that I have heard in awhile. They have an amazing story, which I'll get into on the show next week, but the lead singer, Barbara, reminds me of Patti Smith, Lucinda Williams, Pat Benatar, Chrissy Hynde, and even Stevie Nicks all rolled into one.

They certainly get the Jersey Todd "Seal of Approval"

In other words, buy a copy today.

All fired up tonight. All of the artists on the show are here because they were asked to be here by podcasters. This is the true power of the new media revolution. On tonight's show:

1. Fat Cat Daddies
2. Jeriko
3. ETHAN STONE
4. Sucka Brown
5. Tripsitter
6. David Usher

Featuring B.D. Lenz and Mike's Hot Dish

Download the show here

There are targets, and then there are targets. In the history of this show, there has been no greater target than one man. One man, whose pseudo use of the martial arts, has rocketed him to fame on a level we have not seen since Andy Griffith; one man, whose as much of a cowboy as Jon Bon Jovi; one man; who is as synonymous for his beard as was Bert Byleven or Rick Sutcliffe. Ladies and gentlemen, its time once again to talk about my personal Lex Luthor, the Killer Kahn to my Andre the Giant, the Britney Spears to my Avril Lavine, the nemesis of the Jersey Toddshow – Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris.

Oh sure, I know what you're saying, JT, wasn't Braddock III an incredible movie? To this, I say sure, but it was no Octagon or Lone Wolf McQuade. Chuck Norris and I go way back, and it has been more than one time that he has foiled my plans to take over the world with his massive pythons and his Norelco beard attachment shave. But today, I had to give you a heads up about the recent evil masterminds that the Chucked one has just foiled.

Tchirts.com is a website that sells, well, t-shirts with funky graphics on them. You know, those screen printed American Eagle, Old Navy, swarmy little sayings or meme images that are cool in the I'm-bummed-that-I'm-out-of-school-because-I-don't-have-a-need-to-buy-a-dress-t-shirt-a-cool-saying-kind of way. You know that they have to be bad-guys, because they have their website is spelled t-chirts, with a "C" in it instead of an S, and any use of an oddly placed consonants. For example, look at history Japan, with their hard "P" in the middle of their name – evil – bad guys; Russia – with all their Shh in the middle of their name; now Iraq, with that scary "K" sound at the end – you know that means they're bad. So, it makes perfect sense to me that "Tchirts" with their randomly placed "C" clearly identifies them as the bad-guy against someone with a smooth name like Norris.

Well, the dastardly guys over at Tchirts made a t-shirt that had ol' hair face on it, and tried to sell it. They actually have a lot of quote celebrities on their site, and for better or worse, don't we all want some kid who was born in 1997 to wear a Mr. T "pity the fool" shirt, because something like that won't make me feel ridiculously old already. They actually call their site, "Funny Beer and Sports T-Shirts for Real Men" because baby, it takes a real man to wear a "Menudo" t-shirt. You see, that's funny. Menudo on a t-shirt. Sigh.

So back to the issue at hand, they had this t-shirt with Chuck Norris' mug on it, and they received the following letter, and I want to read it to you word-for-word:

Dear Tchirts.com:

We represent Mr. Chuck Norris, the famous actor. Mr. Norris owns rights in his name, image and related trademarks and copyrights (collectively "Norris Properties"). He has used them for many years in his profession and his businesses. Mr. Norris recently learned that you are promoting and selling t-shirts displaying the Norris Properties ("T-shirts") on your website www.Tchirts.com. An example from your website is annexed.

Mr. Norris enjoys significant fame and goodwill in the Norris Properties. Mr. Norris did not licence you or permit you to use Norris properties. By promoting and selling these T-shirts, you demonstrate your intent to gain by missapropriating Mr. Norris' name and goodwill. You are also violating Mr. Norris' publicity and privacy rights.

On behalf of Mr. Norris, we demand that you immediately 1)Stop using the Norris properties, including on all sales of products; 2) cease all promotion and sales of products bearing the Norris Properties; 3) identify the source from which you obtained those products; and 4) provide us with an accounting from your revenues from sales of products bearing any of the Norris Properties, including the selling price of each item sold and an itemization of all products bearing the Norris Properties in your inventory. Any use of the Norris Properties after receipt of this notice, will be further proof of your intentional missapropriation, from which Mr. Norris can receive immediate injunctive relief, higher damages and payment of his attorneys' fees. If you believe you obtained these products from an authorized source, please forward me the names and address of your vendor and we will let you know whether the vendor was authorized to use the Norris Properties in that manner.

We expect your response in writing within 10 days of the date of this letter. Mr. Norris reserves all his rights, including the right to take legal action as necessary to halt your unlawful conduct.

Sincerely, [Attorney's Name]

Now believe it or not, under the circumstances, I actually don't think this is the most horrible thing I've ever read. Frankly, it was actually one of the nicer letters that I've ever read. Certainly, my letters are far, far worse. I come from the school of speak loudly and carry a heavy pen. I use words like cinderblocks. So, this letter to me, is pretty darn tame. But let me read you the response from the Tchirts boys.

Hi [attorney's first name],

We apologize for any inconvenience caused to Mr. Norris and hope he isn't angry with us. Until now we respected him and we wouldn't want him to come and kick our scrawny screen printing asses!

This t-shirt was only put up about a month ago. We sold a total of 0 (zero) Chuck Norris t-shirts, because nobody thought it was as cool as we did. In fact I don't think Chucky got any publicity this past year other than through our website and the Bowflex. So we don't mind removing an unsuccessful t-shirt from our website. We promise to never make another Chuck Norris T-shirt without his permission again!

Don't forget to visit us again, we have many new t-shirts added regularly (no Chuck Norris ones we promise) !!!!

;)

All the best, Tchirts.com

OK, now I want to be perfectly clear about my position here. I don't begrudge anyone the opportunity to make a living, even if it is from poorly made t-shirts, which are constructed from the sweat of underage Chinese children that make a bowl or rice and a slap on the ass for every 1000 shirts they produce. Indeed, I don't begrudge the boys from tchirts.com from making tshirts that have all the wisdom and insight of Spencer Gifts at the mall, which reminds me that following this podcast, I plan on running over to the mall to get an Orange Julius. Who knew that the secret ingredient was finely ground coconut? Oh man, did I let the secret out – jeez, I'm going to have a giant orange with crown on banging on my door in a couple of minutes, so lets cut to the chase.

But first, the disclaimer. I am not your lawyer. I am not the lawyer for t-chirts.com. I am not a lawyer for Podshow, and I certainly am not establishing an attorney-client relationship with you. I am not establishing any kind of professional relationship with you. I just want us to date and hold hands for a little bit, and maybe a little smootching on the second date. Smootching on the first date? Please, what kind of podcaster do you take me for?

But, in the same way you would not give a bull a colonoscopy based on something that you saw on Animal Planet, so to, should you not consider this to tried and true professional advice.

That being said, the lawyer from Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, or whatever the Firm's name is, is 100% right. Now, of course, like anything else, it all depends on State law, which has more twists and turns than the roller coaster at Great Adventure.

But in general, celebrities, if Chuck Norris were to qualify for that, have a right to publicity – the right to control the use of their image in a product, but this protection genrally doesn't extend to a use that involves serious artist expression or news. I love where this all came from in 1953, the Second Circuit extended the traditional right of privacy, the right to be left alone, to recognize the "right of publicity" in the case of Haelan Laboratories v. Topps Chewing Gum, Inc. 202 F.2d 866, 868 (2nd Cir.) cert. den. 346 U.S. 816 (1953). The Court recognized that baseball players had a property right in their photograph on baseball cards. The Court also held that there was no right to no right not to be the card next to the crappy, powdered chewing gum, nor is there a right not to have your card right in front of Cookie Rojas' card, because you know, any guy named Cookie kinda would get me a little nervous, too. But this concept has been expanded to crazy stuff, like saying "Here's Johnny" to a t-shirt with Dennis Rodman's tattoos. What it comes down to is whether or not you're using an image for a commercial purpose. Let me give you an example, numbered prints of Tiger Woods that some artist was selling was considered "art" and didn't violate Tiger's publicity right. However, much like our friends at Tchirts, a different court ruled that mass-produced t-shirts of the Three Stooges violated their estate's publicity rights. The bottom line is that the closer you come to art or news, the better off you are. Oh, and I hear what you're saying, but Larry, Curly, and even poor, poor, Moe are dead, so what do they care. Actually, California, which produces most celebrities, and avocados, incidentally, has a law that says that this protection extends for at least 50-years. So, while the tchirts guys certainly had some fun at Master Chuck's expense, they were and, in the case of other celebrities, remain 100% in the wrong. In fact, I'd bet that Bob Barker's lawyers are about to lay the smack down, too. So in the end, while I truly believe that Chuck Norris is trying to take over the world with his too cute haircut and his tightly cropped beard, its not his spinning roundhouse kick that really should be scary. No, the scariest thing in the world is a pissed off ninja, who's got a cadre of pissed off, bankrolled, lawyers scanning the net, trying to pick fights.

Damn you Chuck Norris! Damn you to hell! Oh, that was Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. Oh. Nevermind.

I've been really, really impressed with these folks and give them the "JT Seal of Approval"

I just love Stephen King's review of Harry Potter. Fantastic. This is why I'll read just about anything that he puts out. I love that he's become the Dean of Literature.

I also love that both Mr. King and myself have the same song from the Who on our brains.

You shall not hide from Jersey Todd, and I'm all fired up tonight. Tonight, we celebrate what it means to be indie. Featuring the music of:

1. Sean Lee
2. Will Deynes
3. Spartacus Jones
4. Steven P. Richards
5. Jason Reeves

Featuring the Mothman and Geoff Smith and DJ Suicide.

Check out the Musicgoat site.

 Download the show here 

         When I first started podcasting, a podcaster that I respect told me that I better develop some really thick skin, because as a public figure, some people out there are going to take their shots at me, and I guess he was right. Over the last two years, I've dodged more punches than David Gest. But you know what, this week, this particular week, I'm putting on the gloves, putting the mouthpiece in – and well, I am going to put that puffy head headgear thing on, because I am just too damn pretty to take a punch to the face.  

             You see, most of the time, when I get an email I don't like, it usually hits the trash folder quicker than an offer in my inbox to purchase Cialis in bulk. Sorry, Mr. Togo, JT don't need your help put thanks for think of me.

Check out this email that I got this week:

Jersey Todd:

         You mean your show is dedicated to promoting the best pro studio recorded pressed CD indie artists, that's how show  should really read, don't you think! If that is the way you think,  it's certainly not indie thinking. Because that's not what indie is about. I'm starting to see a lot of this type of thinking showing up more so on the Internet & it really sucks! Next, the yuppies will be taking over like they do up here in Seattle yuppy scum land!

        It came from someone who's email address is Virginia, but it was signed "Wes". Well, being the bloodhound that I am, I was intrigued.  I felt like a poor man's Sherlock Holmes – "The Case of the Cranky Indie Artist" Of course, I could never be confused for John Holmes. Well, at least from the neck up, if you know what I'm talking about, wink wink, nudge, nudge. Shame on you if you got that reference. Well, I popped Virginia Ervine into google, and ended up at the Website for the University of Puget Sound, where Virginia works. She seems very nice. Her bio says that she bakes, and sews. Indeed, her co-workers absolutely rave about the baked goods that she brings into work. But, I don't think she plays in a band.

       So I did some more digging, I'm like McGruff the Crime Dog, but with a little bit more caffeine.  I did a search for "Wes" in the Seattle area. Well, it appears that there is a band in Seattle called "Deep Concept" that was formed in 1996 by Billy Miranda and Wes. Bingo. I checked out their music, and since its not on the Podsafe Music Network, I'm not going to play it even in a "fair use" kind of way. I will say this, Wes' bandmate once won an award from MTV, meaning that this band's indie credentials are as honest as Eddie Murphy's claim that he didn't knock-up Scary Spice. Come on in 1997, you were with a transsexual prostitute. I think you've come along way, Norbert.

        But Wes is 100% right, it is absolutely inappropriate for my show. In fact, its not even appropriate for my ipod. I'm not going to say it's horrible, because my mother told me that if I don't have some thing nice to say about people then I shouldn't say anything. (Mumbling) (Mumbling) (Mumbling)  How long to I have to stay quiet before you get my point?

       In fact, if I were in charge of a hostage rescue team, and there were hostages trapped in a building, I would just set up big speakers and play "Deep Concept" over and over and over, and the bad guys would just come running out saying "Dear Lord, Send Us to Jail! Just take that stuff off the speakers!!" Indeed, it is so not my taste that if a "Deep Concept" CD were put into a time capsule and sent off into space and aliens heard it, they'd think our culture hasn't evolved beyond throwing our own poo. Conversely, the "Deep Concept" tracks are so not my taste that I think they should take after their name, and really go into "Deep Cover" like the witness protection program. In fact, I think they should go into such Deep Cover that the guys should go full blown "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and bust out the complete Joel Barish brain wipeout-thing, and completely forget about this. In fact, to quote an email that I received from Mike Yusi of the UC Radio Podshow, I'll probably play you on my show as soon as you stop recording into a boom box on your coffee table. Oooh, man, that's harsh. That's Yusi. Y-U-S-I, and Wes, he's a heck of a lot closer to Seattle than I am, so if you want to kick anybody's ass, let me tell you something – between us – you could take Yusi, I'm pretty sure of it. I once saw him cry really really bad when his decaf skim machiatto came with just a little too much splenda.

        I kid. Really. I kid. It's not horrible. Remember this show is listed as a comedy show right. Jersey Todd is just a character, like you know, like Mr. Imus, without the old-school undertones of racism, but just like that, and I'll pit a link to Deep Concept on the website, and you can check out Deep Cover yourself and hopefully if you like it you'll buy an album and tell me what a moron I am. At the very least, I just gave them more free promotion in one paragraph than they've gotten since 1996. Oh, and about Yusi – the guy's got arms like epileptic pythons – at one moment deadly and lethal, but other times, a bit shaky, so you're on your own.

       But I will say this Wes. Your email got under my skin deeper than that worm that got into Checkov's ear in Wrath of Khan. I'm not even going to give you too hard of a time about sending me an email from your mom's email address, because that's just easy pickins. Snicker, Snicker, Chortle, Chortle. Ok, I'm past that.

       Lets talk about what it means to be indie, ok? Let me give you the full blown legal definition – I have no frickin idea. "Indie" isn't something that can be defined, it can't be encompassed into a mere series of words. Wes' definition of what is indie is completely different than my definition of indie, and sure there are more guys and gals like me showing up on the internet. However, Wes, it doesn't mean that this is going to turn into the Star-bucks-ing of independent music. It means that there are just more and more people pissed off at the mainstream. Sure, I like to play music that, that, well, that   doesn't suck. But that doesn't for one minute discriminate against the bands that I am going to play on the show. I've played artists who made tracks in their basement, and I've played artists that are right on the cusp of superstardom. Oh, and by the way, thanks for accusing me of being a Yuppie. As my grandmother used to say, "From your mouth to gds ear". I'll remember that people think I'm a Yuppie the next time I'm in Court making a fee of $200.00 bucks for a broken finger case that took 20-hours to pursue on behalf of some guy who got his mitt caught in the conveyor belt at the sausage casing plant. Yeah, that actually happened this week.

         The real problem becomes that I think artists have to ask themselves, well, what do you want to be? Do you want to be an artist that sells out arenas and has ASCAP and BMI, and the label, and the radio, and the distribution people all taking a piece of your pie, or do you want to have devoted fans that are going to actually buy your stuff and be a real part of your success. Or maybe, just maybe, here's a novel concept – you're making music because you, ah, enjoy it, and take pleasure in having others hear what you produce.

        I do indeed hope that people like me take over the internet. I hope similar minds to mine are going to pick up the torch and shout from the rooftops that there are some damn fine musicians out there that the mainstream is never going to find, because they are too set in their ways, too bloated, to anachronistic, too stupid to ever recognize. They say that a rising tide rises all boats, and those rising waters are even going to bring to light a couple of bilge barnacles like these dudes from Seattle.

        It doesn't matter what your definition of "indie" is. It's going to take all types of artists, and content producers for this revolution to succeed. This revolution is not about who's more independent – its about who's more talented. Its about who's got the desire to not just post a track to the PMN, but to really take the next step and make a personal connection with the listeners. Its going to take a big tent, and everyone is invited. Because, Wes, let me warn you this if shows like my show, or other shows that you perceive to be put out there by "yuppies" stop putting out content, then the only chance that any band like yours is to try to break into the big time is through the Clear Channels, the Soundscan's or the Morning Zoo's of the world, which for a lot of bands that has as much of a chance of happening as I do playing in the NBA. Actually, from what I understand from some of my cousin's relatives from North Jersey, lately its not so hard for a guy like me, with a bit of scratch, and lets just say some connections, to get into an NBA game. Fuggetabout it.

            Wes, to you I say this. Join us. Be a part of the revolution. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Post some tracks to the PMN, and even if nobody ever plays them, you have the instant feedback that you need to keep plugging away. My tastes are certainly different from a lot of the other podcasts that are out there, and I'm pretty sure, somebody is going to give you the play that your hard work deserves.  

And someday, if I play you on my show, I really expect a package of your mom's cookies in the mail the next day.

Daddy's alright. Mommy's alright. They're just a little bit weird.

There is something just so "rock-star" about this picture.