This guy nails it. As much as I try to keep up, all of this "new media" drives me bananas. I do the show because I love the independent spirit of the music, with a hope that I might 'discover' somebody amazing for you.

More Shillin' than Curt Shilling tonight. Lots of business to take care of, but a fun show nonetheless. Who ever says nonetheless? Lawyers with too much scotch, that's who. Featuring:

1. Winzenried
2. The FuMP
3. A Band Called Quinn
4. Paul Cullen
5. The Alice Project

Featuring Big La v. Todd

Check out the Lovespirals

Go to Audiostreet.net to see how you could play with the Black Eyed Peas.

 Check out the show here

I went to Asher Holmes Elementary School. The school secretary was one of my favorite people of all-time, Mrs. Bennett. When I was in sixth grade, and throughout high school, I worked on the campaigns and in the offices of her son, former Senator John Bennett. I have always had a great time in and around politics. Its also fair to say, that,especially being involved with New Jersey politics I have seen a lot of nonsense. Jeez, New Jersey politics has as much chaos as the after party on the last night that the Ringling Bros. Circus is in town. New Jersey politics is so sloppy that that Mike Rowe from "Dirty Jobs" show on Discovery looks it and goes….nahhh tooo dirty. New Jersey politics is so warped that a visualization of it looks like scoliosis.

But dirty pool isn't limited to the greatest State in the country. Its everywhere, and everyone can be a star.  Hell, just look at Dr. Ron Paul. Please, this guy is a pair of coke bottle glasses away from looking like Jim Backus, but for some reason he's tapped in to the Star Trek and Pro-Wrestling set enough to be a serious contender. But, I need to hold myself back, I need to reel myself in. Its going to take all my power, and all my being, not to talk to you today about Dr. Paul, because today on the JTS, we need to talk about a member of the genus Rattus, the carrier of the black plague, the animal led out of town by the Pied Piper That's right, today, we need to talk about a rat.

Muriel Gallo Chasanoff, a 19-year old sophomore at Grinnell College, in Iowa, is my rat of the week. The short version of her story is simple, she went to a Hillary Clinton rally, which to me, has as much attraction as going to a colonoscopy, but to each their own. She wanted to ask a question about Shrillery's feelings about the other candidate's plans regarding global warming. When she told a senior staffer about it, he looked in a notebook and asked her to ask the following question, to wit, Topping that sheet of paper was the following: "As a young person, I'm worried about the long-term effects of global warming. How does your plan combat climate change?"  

She went right ahead and asked the question in front of hundreds of people, because "She likes to be agreeable" but she really had a problem with being told what question to ask, and in fact, ratted out the Clinton campaign to her school newspaper, and then went on CNN because she felt that the "voters have the right to know what happened."

You know what Ms. Gallo Chasanoff, we do and we don't, and we certainly don't need you to be the arbiter of these things. Let's be real honest, I don't know you, and I don't know your personality, and as they say at my son's day care, I may like you, but I certainly don't like your behavior today.
 
C'mon, Muriel it felt good to have all the attention on you are receiving C'mon it felt good to be on CNN. Its not like CNN was gonna come knock, knock, knocking on your door anytime soon, so you took it upon yourself to be the moral police of the Clinton campaign right?

Please. This was all about your fifteen minutes of fame In fact, I bet you get looked over all the time – by guys in your class, friends going to parties, and deep down in your heart of hearts, you knew that you should have been Ms. Corn Field of Grinnell College and not that wench Suzy Boogereater. Yeah, its come to that, Booger-eater. Welcome to the Jersey Toddshow, everybody – good thing your getting the show for free.
 
David Gergen, the political analyst, calls planting questions the moral equivalent of a parking ticket. Frankly I'm not entirely sure this was a true planted question or an on the spot edit of a question, but jeeez, for a girl who sounds like she's got some Italian blood in her, what's the deal with being such a rat.  Are you the girl who tells the teacher when they forget to give homework, or the one who tells other kids not to run in the hallways? Do you constantly look and make 100% sure your neighbor is using a Number 2 pencil. Listen, nobody likes a tattle tale. Oh, who am I kidding, there's no Italians in Iowa.

But, we know that this dog and pony system of an election is as rigged as the history of the World Wrestling Federation title. You remind me of another little Rat from a State not too unlike yours – Kansas. Do you really think that the little munchkins and people from Oz were any happier when that Dorothy girl showed everyone that the Wizard was just some dude behind a curtain? Of course they weren't and leave the damn curtain alone and keep your damn dog under control. Oh and speaking of Dorothy, hmm, little school girl outfit, little ruby slippers, running away from home…you should have thanked your lucky stars for that twister or at this point you'd be top girl for some pimp named Leroy by now. I'll get you, my pretty.

So, having gotten that out of my system like drinking day old coffee and eating spinach from a local Taco Bell, we need to talk about my buddy, Shrillery. What is the Clinton's problem with college girls who can't keep their mouth shut? Jeez, Bill lied about his erection and Hillary is starting to lie about her election. That line would be impossible to say if I were asian.

Nonetheless, I certainly know why Hillary chose to speak at Grinnell College. According to U.S. News and World Report, in 2004, Grinnell College's per student endowment is larger than that of any other liberal arts college, and knowing Hillary like we do, we know that she likes things that are really endowed – I mean come on, why else would she still be with Bill? Even if it is only for once a year after Bill's gone through his little black book and has drank half a bottle of Mad Dog….hey, these are good times, right?

I know Iowa is an agricultural state, but the only planting that you should be doing is corn, not questions. Look, you know I'm not going to vote for you, but if you want anyone else's vote, then do me a favor, distance yourself from the current administration, and I don't mean politically, I mean ethically, and it should be really really easy to do that – just don't frigging lie any more. I don't even care if the next president is completely incompetent – hell, the current President has set the bar so low that the next president can jump over it during an elliptic fit

I know you've got a billion happily aggressive little tools working for you, and you certainly can't be responsible for all of them. Oh wait, yes you can, you're running for f'n President. Not only should the guy who planted the question be fired, but the guy who hired the guy who planted the question should be fired and his house lit on fire, and there should be baseball bats involved, and maybe some of the stuff that I've seen on my Sopranos DVDs, cause that's how we would have handled it in Jersey politics. Woo!

Or maybe, you could write a memo or something telling people to cut it out.

I know you're itching to buy a domain name through GoDaddy.com, and as I told you on the show, feel free to use Jersey1, 2, or 3, at the time of checkout.

But you can't simply buy one. Domain names make the perfect holiday gift, so why not buy domain names for friends and family, too? In the spirit of giving, why not use my buddy Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff's codes? Besides, he's got a prettier web-site than mine.

Your friends and family will thank you - and you'll feel better for not giving a Cracker Barrel sampler, again.

The writer's strike brings a vacuum, and vacuums seek things that suck. Seek no further, its a new episode of the Jersey Toddshow, guarunteed to suck.

1. Winzenried aka Hollywood Drunks
2. Joe Colledge
3. Ron Rutherford
4. Arlan Feiles
5. Two Loons for Tea

Check out the ballot for the Asbury Music Awards and vote for me!

Listen to the show here.

       Yesterday was election day – or as like we like to call it here inNew Jersey, "Opening Day of Kickback Season". It wasn't a very controversial election, unless you count my local election where a Democrat councilman sent a letter out to all of the constituentsendorsing the Republican candidates, in a move that had as much class as Fredo Corleone making a deal with Johnny Ola, but hey, here in Jersey politics is a contact sport.

     But this was not a very big election – no Senators, Governors, or Presidents allegedly on the ballot. But when its quiet like this – that's when they try to sneak stuff on the ballot and hope that nobody notices. The ballot resolutions. These things are like wish lists for special interest groups who somehow think that if they get 51% of the vote on a turnout of less than 20% of the voting public that they somehow have a mandate. Right, mission accomplished I know. I almost didn't see this when I was placing my vote yesterday, but I had to tell you about it. Check out this proposed resolution:

     Shall the amendment of Art. II Section I paragraph 6 of the Constitution, agreed to by the Legislature, revising the constitutional language concerning denial of the right to vote by deleting the phrase idiot or insane person and providing instead that a "person who has adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting shall not enjoy the right to vote."

      I love it. I absolutely love it. Gd bless New Jersey lawyers, who even with their best intentions muck things up worse than that green crap that you see in the swamplands of the Meadowlands. I understand the purpose here. Idiot is not a nice name to call someone with a mental handicap. Ok, that's fine, but lets break this into its parts.

      I believe that idiots should not vote, but they do every day. Just ask the Red States. I believe that more people than not who vote don't understand the act of voting, and are just there for the free stickers. More importantly, leaving the decision of whether a person can or can not vote in the hands of a Court of competent jurisdiction – well, where the heck are we going to find that?

      In fact, if you really think about it, the only way that this is going to be enforceable is if someone brings an application to a Judge to try to take away someone's voting rights. In a State that has enough problems, do we really think that a Judge is going to spend their morning on a plenary hearing to determine whether someone is an idiot or not? Jeez, I've had enough Judges call me an idiot and I have heard the stories from other lawyers over the years that there have been Judges who were one loud gavel bang away from going from the black robe to the white coat, if you know what I mean.

      Indeed, idiots vote all the time, and here is a quick test for you tell whether or not you too should call up your local prosecutor and say, hey, I'm an idiot – so take me in front of the Judge.

1. If you clean your gun facing you, loaded, you may be an idiot. (I actually have a client that enjoyed this).
2. If you smoke cigarettes while carrying bags of asbestos, you may be an idiot (I actually had a client that did this).
3. If you are sleeping with, and selling drugs to, your ex-best friend's girlfriend while in a school zone, you may indeed be an idiot. (Uhm, I actually have that client too.)
4. If you are chased by a cop in a car after being stopped by the local police, and ram your car into a military police station, and drive through the fence of a military instillation after September 11, you may indeed be an idiot. (yeah, I had one too).
5. Finally, if you think lists like Jeff Foxworthy's "You may be a Redneck" is funny, well, then you may indeed be an idiot.

        The fact of the matter is that we are all idiots sometime, and spreading whiteout all over our State Constitution in the name of political correctness is a mind-numbing thing to do, when we all know where you are going with this. Frankly, I think that my elected officials can do better, and I am sick and tired of everyone getting so upset about simple words, when actions not words really matter.

      So let Senator JT take a rewording this, and I think we can apply this to race, religion, sexual preference. 

     "Be it resolved, that its not nice to call someone with special challenges an idiot or an insane person, unless they, of partial mind and body, call themselves an idiot or an insane person for the purpose of making a joke of it. However, you hereby prohibited from calling a person with a challenge an idiot or an insane person solely on the basis of that they themselves called themselves or a peer an idiot or an insane person, in the same way certain homosexual or African American groups greet themselves, as you are not part of that group, and thus, do not get the privilege of sharing in that nomenclature.

      In terms of the right to vote. Everyone gets to vote if they are over the age of 18 and a naturalized American citizen or have at least three social security numbers and are not currently working as a day laborer somewhere where their services are more needed than waiting to vote. However, voting shall be prohibited by anyone who holds the line up for more than five minutes, and insists on showing pictures of their grandchildren.

      Finally, if during the course of human events, you arrive at the polling place with a plaid shirt and green pants, if you spout off on the benefits of garlique, or are still thinking that any kind of mission has been accomplished, then you are hereby forbidden to vote – because you indeed are an idiot."

      Hey. This politics thing ain't so hard. Where's my intern?

I recently was checking the logs of this page (yes, I can see you!!!), and saw that someone came from a link that was posted on this site.

Apparently, I've been nominated for an Asbury Music Award for 2007. This is a very big deal in the N.J. Indie Music Scene, and I'm beyond honored. It also shows how far Podcasting has come as I am in a category for "Top Radio Personality."

I have no expectations for actually winning, and I have no idea what the criteria is...but the real question is, do I still fit into my tux for the award ceremony on November 17, 2007?

I'd like to thank the Academy. You like me, you really, really like me.

 

But the Revolution needs the change some diapers. I'll be back ASAP.