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Two shows in one week? Who do I think I frigging am, Adam Curry? Featuring:

Intro Music: Josh Woodward

1. Ember
2. Goodwin
3. David Ippolito
4. Chris Trapper of the Push Stars
5. Funky Kidz
6. David Martin

Go buy Number One with a Bullet

Listen to the show here

"Who can take someone's trademark, spin it for me and you? Cover it with choc'late, and a miracle or two. The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man Can. The Candy Man cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good..."

Wait wait wait, before you hit that button on your ipod, before you run screaming from your computer, I apologize. I know, I've gotten countless emails from you in the past, but I just had the need, the need to sing. It comes to me every once in awhile when I get happy. In fact, I'm a singing fool half the time, and well, I just had to bust a tune out for you.

The reason why I'm so happy is this story out of New York City, which was in the paper today. In Times Square, which I consider to be the exact epicenter of the entire world is a guy named David Burck. Don't go looking for him now. It's too cold out, but when the time is right David performs, as, what he believes to be one of New York's top tourist attractions - the Naked Cowboy. That's right, the dude lets it all hang out in his underwear and a cowboy hat and sings. He kind of positions his guitar over his instrument if you know what I mean. Look, I don't go in for that kind of entertainment - when I'm in Times Square I'd rather go get a hot dog over at Nathan's or maybe just get some hot nuts from a street vendor. Oh wait that came out wrong. Some people have a great time with him. He's kind of a David Ippolito type if David lost the pants and wore a cowboy hat. I hate to drag David into this - go check out his web site at thatguitarman.com and listen to his podcast, because he's wonderful. But in thinking about it, there certainly are a lot of guys in the city without shirts and guitars. My friend Ahmed who sells sun tan lotion for 1-dollar, 1-dollar certainly must be making a killing.

But Burck has got his tighty-whitey's in a bunch because those fiends at M&M Mars recently put an electronic billboard up with a M&M wearing underwear and playing guitar, and it looks really a lot like the Naked Cowboy, and at first, then Burck was really honored, and then someone must have whispered in his ear that the M&M was potentially impinging upon his trademark and he filed a lawsuit in Federal District Court seeking $6 million dollars, which of course, is a boat load of skittles. Yeah, the ultimate case of deep pocket versus no pocket.

Now I am not a copyright lawyer, but you know, it is interesting that we keep coming back to stories of how celebrities rights are violated. Ah, poor celebrities. I don't know who is advising the Naked Cowboy, but if he procedes with a trademark claim against Mars, he might lose his shirt. Oh wait, he already did.

More importantly, I have no idea how he's going to serve the M&M's with his papers. I guess he's going to have to get some sort of teeny-weeny process server in M&M land.

I'm not sure if this actually falls under a trademark claim. If you want to get fancy, its the Lanham Act, put into place back in the Truman era. Back when men were men, and candies weren't required to defend against lawsuits. But, I don't know if Burck actually trademarked his BVD's and if he did, where would he put the little trademark symbol? More importantly, applying for and receiving a trademark is really really expensive, and I just have my doubts that the Naked Cowboy applied for one using the quarters and dollar bills from his guitar case.

So, the paper must have gotten it wrong - this is more likely a copyright claim. Celebrities in the United States enjoy the right of publicity  The right of publicity essentially means the celebrity’s right to the commercial value of their fame. It is considered ‘additional to and independent of the right to privacy’. A person’s name, image or other aspects of personality cannot be used on merchandise without his or her consent. For example, Vanna White successfully sued Samsung Electronics, when it used a Vanna White look-a-like robot in one of its advertisements, without her permission. This was so despite the fact that no-one could have possibly been confused that the robot was really Vanna, and I doubt that anyone is going to think that the M&M is actually Burck. Its not like the M&M had nuts. 

The first problem is that this guy is going to have is proving that as the Naked Cowboy that he is really some sort of celebrity. I mean seriously, everyone in this country is famous for something or another, and is celebrity just someone who has his butt seen by a lot of people? Does celebrity mean a side show act or basic cable? I mean come on, Burck is essentially a glorified street perfomer. He's a guy waiting for the bus. The guy isn't a celebrity, and in this weather, he's a lunatic.

Is what he does so unique, so special, that he even deserves copyright protection? My three year old sings in his underwear, and frankly, he does a better job of the Chipmunk's "Witch Doctor" than that Cowboy dude...but more importantly, does anyone think any differently after seeing the ad? Does anyone think that the Naked Cowboy is endorsing M&Ms? Would it matter more if it were a green M&M? If so, who really cares? 

It's not like I'm going to purchase something hard on the outside and chocolatey on the inside just because a Naked Cowboy tells me to. Ok, that came out really wrong sounding. To be honest, I probably wouldn't purchase something hard on the outside and chocolatey on the inside if presented by a Naked Cowboy - this is especially true if the Naked Cowboy wanted to tell me that it would melt in my mouth and not in my hands. Dude - get away from me. Is this really the future of marketing? What's next Jenna Jameson for Star-Kist? Think about that one, you'll laugh at it later. 

And in the end, and frankly, I've seen the end, its nothing that's too impressive, what exactly is this guy's measure of damages? A roll of bus tokens? C'mon. For $6 million bucks, this guy could give up being the Naked Cowboy altogether. Frankly, I think he's doing what he's done all along pushing skimpy briefs in all of our faces, and hoping to make a quick buck. Frankly, I hope that no attorney gets involved with this case and tries to procede pro boner because I wouldn't want this case to end up in a hung jury. Ok, again, nasty image, so lets wrap this one up.

It appears to me that the Naked Cowboy is just trying to squeeze M&Ms for a couple of bucks, and even though I realize that he has nowhere but his boots to stuff the money in, if I'm the defense attorney on this one, I'd offer a sincere, "I'm sorry", maybe tell my client not to renew the billboard at the end of its run, and well, maybe tell them to go ahead and give the guy enough money to buy a coat.

Far be it for me to discuss topics of which I have limitted to no clue of what I am talking about - its never stopped me in the past. Accordingly, let me dip my toe into two subjects where there certainly are far more qualified experts than myself, podcasting tech. and the stock market.

This week Wizzard media, which is made up of Libsyn, Blast Podcast, and Switchpod got itself listed on the AMEX (Symbol: WZE). As of this writing, it is trading at a very interesting $2.60 per share.

I have never been that great in picking individual stocks. I am still smarting over the MCI stock that I was given when I was thirteen years old that later went into a cat litter box. However, regarding this stock, I am very intrigued, to say the least.

First, while I remain 100% behind Podshow, and am very excited about our sucesses, it would not be credible if I didn't concede that Wizzard puts out a great product. Prior to my involvement with Podshow, I used Libsyn, which is an amazing service. Moreover, I subscribe to some great shows that are featured on Wizzard's home page, such as the Dead Pod and the PMC Top 10. In short, I have nothing bad to say about Wizzard, and they have my utmost respect.

Second, while I don't want to start the hyperbole of "this is a measuring stick for the success or failure of podcasting as a medium", I do find it fascinating as a test to see the potential profitability of a company that produces independent content in the terms of the bigger economic picture, and how independent investors, who are unfamiliar with the technical aspects of podcasts (let alone whether they even listen) view a company of this nature. While the stock price certainly doesn't coordinate with the pros and cons of the Podcasting world, a rising stock price certainly doesn't hurt anyone. Remember, a rising tide raises all boats.

In the end, this is a speculative stock, like any other. For me, as I am so invested emotionally with podcasting, it may be time to become invested financially (even more than physical stuff that I've acquired). I've always read that you are supposed to invest in stocks that correlate with your hobbies.

At the least, there's at least a chance that I'll do better than when I invested in that Chinese toy company. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Oh, and Adam and Ron - when you decide to go public, don't tell me until the announcement, I've got enough problems.

[The lawyer in me is dying to write, for more detailed advice, you should contact your financial consultant, but we'll tell that part of me to shut up already, or I'll stab it with a pencil.]

 

Bringing you the best from the Garden State. Featuring:

1. Sheri Miller
2. Del The Funky Homosapien
3. Bob Mould
4. H-Beam
5. The Alice Project 
6. Featuring John Anno.

 Dowload the show directly by clicking here

         Jack Nicholson recently endorsed Hillary Clinton, as did Barbara Streisand and Danny DeVito. Oprah Winfrey held a huge rally for Barack Obama in Iowa and recently got endorsements from Scarlette Johanson, and Will I Am of the Black Eye Peas. Mike Huckabee's endorsements lean more toward the pseudo athlete crowd garnering endorsements from Chuck Norris and the former 16-time Champion of the World, Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair - Wooo! Man that just sounds silly when I do it, but not to be out done, John McCain has received endorsements from Arnold Schwartzeneger, and the guy that usually endorses your daily intake of oatmeal, Wilfred Brimley.

      Oh yeah, and Curry is endorsing Ron Paul, and the one thing that I've learned is that you never discuss with your boss is your social life, your personal life, or your politics, but all I'll say about that is that dude, remember to pick out the stems and seeds, and if you're going to use the Economist as paper to roll joints, I'd recommend that you don't use the glossy pages as those will give you a serious headache about ten-minutes into the Bugs Bunny Bong Hour at the Castle. Let me just say this about Ron Paul. Dr. Paul, a gynolcologist, has many nice ideas, but I want my President kissing babies, not delivering babies. I want my President to be more like Teddy Rooselvelt - you know the only stirrups that he should be messing with carry him up San Juan hill. I want my President to be more like Kennedy and Clinton, you know seeing more ahem personally than professionally. I want my President to have his finger on the button, oh forget it, I don't even want to think where Ron Paul's fingers have been, but if elected President - they better put some Purel next to that button.

     That being said, feel free to quote me on this one, celebrity endorsements are the new black. In an era where we are are all busy, where we all don't have any inclination to watch the news, and where network news is a flick of the switch away from being the functional equivalent of Entertainment Tonight, is it any wonder that we look to those people who we trust, who we look to for both spiritual and emotional guidance to help us in our quest to choose the next President of the United States?

    Oh come on, I too, want to know who ALF is endorsing for President. When I pull the lever, I want to know who Engelberg from the Bad News Bears has to say about the war in Iraq. I need, need, need to base my decision of who should be the Supreme Commander of America's armed forces because the girls who wrote the song, "We like the Cars, the Cars that go Boom" say that is the guy that I should vote for.

     Yeah right. Let me tell you something about celebrities. In our culture, they are a dime a dozen, and the most of them you wouldn't let watch your kids. Most of these celebrities that we have today aren't qualfied to service the whack-a-mole at your local Chuck-E-Cheese, so what would make you think for one second that these drama club, marching band, audio-visual club graduates have any better ability than you or I to make an educated guess about the qualifications of the next president.

    They don't. 

     We've grown up in a culture where we are supposed to care what product makes Brad Pitt's teeth so white, and what makes Beyonce's boobs stand up so straight. From your Jimmy Dean sausages to your Orville Redenbocker Popcorn, its all about the name behind the product far more than the value of the product itself.

     Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for it, too. I want to "Be Like Mike" and I want to "Livestrong" with Lance. I've bought more crap because some celebrity said that it would make my hair shiner, my arm pits stink less, and my colon cleaner. Ok, that was just once...man I should edit that out, too, but Richard Gere can be some damn convincing.

     But not this time.

    This is a big election. This is perhaps the biggest election of our lifetime. In so many ways, this election may set the tone for our country for the rest of our lifetime. We have something for everyone, the liberals, the conservatives, and the bozos. Yeah, Ron Paul voters - stick that in your Jerry Brown and smoke it, and this time, you have to make up your mind on your own.

     And sure, I have my opinions of who I think would be America's Next Top Model President. Hey check that out. Is there any differences betweent this election and our other great American Election - American Idol. Sure, it comes down to the girl with the shril voice or the Southerner with the crooning sounds, and at the end of the day, isn't it awfully similar that nobody named Sanjaya has half a chance to be your American Idol and even less of a chance to be your next American President. 

    Hmm...Barack, Sanjaya. Sanjaya, Barack. Boy, the boys in marketing could have learned something about product placement with those two monikers, and at the end of the day, isn't it odd how we think more or less of someone because of their name. Now, I'll admit that Sanjaya had about the same amount of talent as Foghorn Leghorn, and hair to match, but in 2007, it was all about ethnicity and less about passion as we talked more about his name than the sound coming out of his mouth. Barack, Sanjaya. Hmm...

    All four and a half of the remaining candidates are certainly well qualified. I can say something nice about all of them: Barack brings so much to the table, enthusiasm, fresh ideas, and is free of the current political-economic establishment. Hilary brings experience, and if elected she'll give every American the recipe to those cookies that she baked on the Today show back when Bill was running. McCain, or as Wonkette calls him, Walnuts, is a certifiable....war hero, and I think deep down someone that I would have a beer with and be fascinated by his history; huckabee also seems like a decent guy, but one who would spend too much time on the blessing before dinner, again, not a bad guy but, could we just hurry up and eat, and Ron Paul doesn't like personal injury lawyers who spend tireless hours defending the rights of those tragically injured and keeping insurance companies in check, so frankly, screw you Ron Paul. 

      But remember, these aren't products. These aren't M&M's and Coca Cola. Voting for Obama won't make you any cooler or hipper.  Voting for Hilary won't make your teeth shine brighter. Voting for McWalnuts doesn't make you more tough. Voting for Huckabee doesn't bring you any closer to gd. Voting for Ron Paul - that just means your wasting your vote. Bam! That's two....bring it on Dr. Ron.

    You know why they have a curtain on the door of the of the voting booth? Because in this country, it is a tradition, no strike that, it is a fundamental right for your vote to be conducted in private, yeah and I know that the boys over at Pacific Coast Hellway are doing some nasty, nasty things in that voting booth, and no Mr. Yusi, you can't stick a quarter in the side and a little window isn't going to open for you to see Chula the Mexican Belly Dancer. Its a voting booth, and I am not going to think any less of anyone if they have a different vote than I do. Does anyone remember that George Bush was endorsed by Governor Arnold. In twenty years, is anyone going to remember that Bright Eyes sang a song in support of John Kerry. Its your personal decision, and you need to leave it at that. Frankly, I don't care who you vote for, as long as you voted. Jesus, you aren't voting for a class president, your voting with a president so do it with class. 

     And as far as who I'm voting for....well that's easy - I'm voting for.....

Sometimes, the playoffs are more interesting than the finals. Your job is to just get in the game.